Memories of childhood..things that were lost
Where should I begin? Did I have the best childhood in the world? I don’t think so, but the fact that I didn’t know anything about childhood or adulthood was a solace.
“Knowing Nothing” could be a taboo in this generation. But knowing nothing and knowing that I don’t know anything is something that made me a care free child, and I loved it. But it didn’t last for a very long time, as I realized that I wanted to pass examinations to qualify for the next classes! Life is all about experiences, one cannot possibly control their experiences, especially when they are younger. Good, bad or ugly, you’ll only know when you grow up. Personally, for me, it was the combination of everything, and that’s interesting.
Let’s start from the warmth of the sun, the one that helps with the mornings, photosynthesis, and beautiful ‘sunsets’ sometimes. Getting back home after school, washing my body with cold water, and feeling a little chill and warming my legs on the balcony was fun. I barely remember someone telling me that exposing oneself to the sun is a good thing and that was my way of getting vitamin D. And I feel that it wasn’t that sunny at that time, even if the afternoons were a good time to play with friends. We barely got tired, never cared about the sweat, neither did my friends, we looked all fresh after we used to sprinkle water on our faces, and felt elated with what we all did in the break.
I remember when I was in class two, I looked in a mirror, touched my face and had an existential question—“Who am I?” I had it a few times after that, especially in the morning when I went out to brush my teeth. Furthermore, I couldn’t find the answer and I moved on. Sometimes, I think even if I had tried a little more, my life would have been different now, I presume. Nothing’s absolute when everything is a variable in chaos.
And fast-forward to the next three years, when I saw the wind, and the cloudy evenings. I used to feel thrilled about summer evenings, especially the beginnings of the monsoon rains. I used to sleep on the terrace and enjoy the wind and the raindrops. Surprisingly, I don’t remember much about rain at that time. Maybe it was destiny.
I remember the rain a few years after that. I used to stand alone and get soaked in the rain, and run around and enjoy nature’s showers. Not only that, but I never caught a cold at that point in time. I don’t know why. Perhaps that’s how nature loved me.
Now, looking back on all these things, I feel that the sky is the only constant that I can relate to. I cannot find the same climate anywhere. I don’t know what spring, summer, rainy and winter seasons are anymore. It’s nice to hear the phrase “Change is the only constant in life”, but it comes with a cost, where you neither know what happened nor why it happened.